While recently watching ‘Into Great Silence’ again (favourite film experience of my life thus far)… It always becomes so blatantly obvious how simplicity and the power of less cuts through all the distractions and ‘trivial, energy-wasting temptations.’
I feel like an asshole every time I post something on here, or Facebook, or Twitter or whatever site I’m on… There’s a version of my Self that knows better… This Self knows to spend more time creating stuff instead of consuming stuff.
But there’s also a version of myself that grew up devouring music videos, CDs, DVDs, magazines, video games, commercials and television shows… This is side of myself that I’m still trying figure out my relationship with…
There have been many complications that came from constantly searching for powerful experiences of escapism or distraction. Having to re-learn my creativity after high school was the biggest symptom (I often mistook the introspection that marijuana provided as creativity…) Another obstacle has been constantly failing to admit to myself that technology is a drug… However the biggest problem I’ve faced is the lack of a connection to something larger than my Self… I’m constantly being reminded of this in silence, ritual and space.
But then another part of me is a big turd… I’ll watch disturbingly average movies, spend entire days numbing out on music downloads and youtube videos… I’ll constantly check views on videos I’ve posted and obsess over comments… I’ll go to Starbucks and buy a five dollar drink because it feels good to have a Starbucks cup in my hand… That turd is a real piece of shit.
Finally there’s a part of me that’s obsessed with having wheels on my feet… and that’s where the Self, myself, the turd and the lack of connection all meet and say “Hey man… don’t you get it yet?”